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Saturday, February 5, 2022

A HAPPIER LIFE

I hear so many people talk about their desire to find true happiness. They say they’ve tried “everything”: a new job, a new car, a new home, lots of money in the bank. 

And yet, it seems they are still not as happy as they want to be. Their attitudes toward life and others reflect that unhappiness, and soon they begin to take that unhappiness out on others. I see it every day, most recently in a post on a popular website – a post that involved thousands of people and a few hundred different opinions and criticisms.

I saw a photo someone had shared once that listed the five things a person needs to be truly happy. I would like to elaborate on that photo with an explanation of how I see these things attributing to one’s happiness if one would follow the list diligently.

Love yourself: It's impossible to truly love anyone else if you don't love yourself. Oh, you may love them when you first meet them; but, eventually, you will compare yourself to them and begin to feel inferior to them. Gradually your love for them will turn to envy, then to anger, and then hatred - not just for the one whom you once loved but for yourself as well.

If there are things you don't like about yourself, FIX THEM NOW. Take a good, long look at yourself, not to find fault but to recognize what is good about you: your strengths, your talents, your passions. Then use those things to change whatever you don't like. You may find that many of the things you thought were faults were actually strengths if you use them in the right way.

Do good: How do you feel about yourself when you do something nice for others? Does it make you all warm and fuzzy inside? Doing good to others, sharing your love, joy, happiness and abundance with those who need a hand up or just a smiling face not only makes their day brighter but brings joy to your heart as well. Doing good is not just for others; it's not just to make you look good in the eyes of the public. It can also lift you up and give your life more meaning when you spread love and happiness by helping someone else in need or just bringing a little sunshine into someone else's day.

I love to see the videos on TikTok and YouTube about the young man who helps the homeless, gives back to those who are helping others, and randomly helps even when they denied him when they thought he was homeless or lost. You don't have to wait to be asked to help; in fact, you shouldn't wait, but go out and find someone who needs to be uplifted today, even if it's just with a smile.

Always forgive:  What happens when someone hurts your feelings or is rude to you? Do you get so upset that you won't talk to that person or acknowledge them again? Once the incident is over, who suffers from your reaction? Most of the time, the person who hurt you doesn't even realize you are upset. They go on about their business, living their lives in complete ignorance of your feelings or that there was ever a problem. They may wonder why you don't speak to them anymore, but eventually, they will move on, never knowing how you feel.

So, who is it that really suffers? It's you. You’re stuck in that place, feeling you have been wronged, with no apology for the slight forthcoming. If the hurt was deep, you may dwell on it for so long, the pain turns into a scar on your heart that will not heal; not because of the damage the other person caused, but because dwelling on the injury reopens it time and time again until the scar on that wound is too thick to mend.

FORGIVE! Both the slights and the deep wounds; the unknown and the purposeful. Your life will have more joy, and there will more peace in your heart.

Harm no one: The Hippocratic Oath, a motto for doctors around the world for centuries, begins with the phrase, "First, do no harm." I think it is fitting these are the first words pledged by those whose responsibility it is to heal others. We should all take this advice to heart. Most of the world's ills today are caused by people who bring harm in some way to others, whether purposefully or not.

Paul wrote in Romans 13:10: "Love worketh no ill to his neighbour: therefore love is the fulfilling of the law. " And who is our neighbor? The one next to us in Church who shares our beliefs; the homeless man on the street; the woman in front of us in line at the grocery store who doesn't have enough money to cover her purchases; the boy or girl who doesn't have shoes or a coat to wear in the winter; the friend who is grieving because their parent passed away; the new Arabic, Indian, Hispanic, Black or Asian family who just moved in next door or down the street or across town. In other words, EVERYONE. Do no harm to them; rather, do good, have compassion for them, love them as a neighbor should.

Be positive: This is probably the hardest thing a person can do at certain times in their lives, especially when adversity is all around them. Being positive requires us to look at the negative and find the one positive part - any little thing - that can put a smile on our faces and help us get through whatever is trying to tear us down.

Illness, financial problems, family issues...each of these things can bring a person down on their own. But when you must deal with one after the other or several at a time, it can feel so overwhelming as to be insurmountable. It's not surprising that so many people deal with depression and anxiety in today's world. How can a person stay positive when so much is happening in the world around us and within our own families?

I used to have a boss that was constantly telling me, "Don't sweat the small stuff." Easier said than done, especially when the "small" stuff keeps building over time. I found the secret was to solve each "small" thing as it came, so the slate was clean before the next small thing came along. No more piling up the small stuff. No more insurmountable mountains to conquer. I could be positive that I could handle the next thing that came along because the last one was already solved. I was able to find peace of mind by “sweating” the small stuff until it was gone.

I believe that if everyone followed these five rules daily, mankind could truly be happy. Unfortunately, that is not likely to happen. But, if you follow these steps in your own life, perhaps you can find the happiness and peace of mind you are searching for, and at the same time, spread that happiness and peace to others. Try it and let me know what happens. I'd like to hear.


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